Author’s Note: Allison gave me this idea to write a poem when I was finished with the words I emailed it to my support group. The responded all cam back asking what was with the numbers I replied that it was the syllable count and that I would delete it after editing. Natalie offered an idea that the numbers should stand for seconds. I took that idea and created the 25 seconds, all of the numbers represent a time that this persons is going through horror.
25 Seconds
My legs feel weak and my head throbs 25
I see the end of the hall 24
My breathing picks up pace 23
Something waits for me 22
At the end of 21
The hallway 20
Waiting. 19
I tried to scream as I saw 18
What was waiting for me 17
The crazy white mist formed 16
A tall figure 15
That looked like 14
Him. 13
My long legs give out as I try 12
To get away from my big fear 11
I fall to the hard ground 10
And all I see is the 9
Face of my dead 8
Brother. 7
He has come back like he said 6
I close my eyes as I 5
Know that I never 4
Will open them 3
Again now 2
I am 1
Dead! 0
Wait are you dead too? or just saying that everything's terrible that your brother died? Its really cool how you put the countdown in it, and the look of it. The only thing was I started reading the numbers as part of the words and I got confused. (but that might just be me)
ReplyDeleteWell Allison gave me this idea about a girl running down a hallway that is approached by her brother and killed so I guess the character is dead
ReplyDeleteYeah haha my idea was that like there was this girl running down a hallway and was getting chased my her possessed brother and then once she reached the end there was nowhere to escape to and her brother killed her haha. But Katelyn, this was really creative to put the numbers in and it flowed nicely. The only thing that I would have to say is that I agree with Erin with the number thing; I started to read the numbers as part of the words. Maybe you could just add some more spaces or something. But this was so cool! good job
ReplyDeleteKatelyn, What an amazing poem! It sounds funny to say but I'm proud of you! Maybe to seperate the numbers from the poem you could add in ... before the number. It was really good. Great job!:)
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really well written and the styles you take on it are cool. Like everyone else said, I think it would be easier to read if the numbers were separate from the actual lines in the poem. What Elli suggested would be great or maybe even putting it a few spaces in front of the actual line would work too.
ReplyDelete